Being Cougar. Not.

A 42 year old man marries a 32 year old woman. A 34 year old man marries a 23 year old girl. Apart from child-cradle-snatching jokes, nothing happens. This is considered to be very normal after all.

Now consider the reverse – a 40 year old woman marries a 30 year old man. How would you react? I will tell you. They would say she wants to be Madonna. She would be termed as a Cougar & other nasty words.

Why nasty, you ask. Well Madonna dates younger boys for flings not for a healthy relationship. Cougars are supposed to be predators. Do they have similar word for a man? No.

They say women mature early & hence they want to have a relationship with older man. Let’s assume this to be true for a moment. It might be true in general but what about exceptions? Why can’t a guy be more mature than a woman older than him?

I am not buying that argument though. Why anyone wants to be in a relationship with someone is purely based on how someone connects with someone. Maturity / similarities / dissimilarities do not matter. Don’t we see so many apparently mis-matched couples? If society had a way, they would have never paired up.

My neighbour is way shorter than his wife. I have never seen them feeling awkward while walking together on the street. A woman co traveller in a Mumbai local is very fat & tall. Her husband is very thin. My college friend married a guy who drives auto for living. I can go on and on. All these are of course examples of happy marriages.

The best example is of my rakhi brother. My brother is not much educated, was a mere salesman in a shop when he met my sister in law & has a very dark complexion. The woman he fell in love and married to is fair & beautiful, graduate & from a well to do family and hold your breath! 5 years elder to him! I have been witness to their relationship right from the beginning. And know for a fact that they are still very much in love and living a very happy life. It won’t be wrong to say that their story inspires me. They have taught me that when there is true love, nothing else matters and you can fight all the hurdles if you want to be together.

I am not saying that these kind of marriages / relationships would be always successful. But can we guarantee success of all society approved relationships?

Also, when you restrict older women dating younger men, you restrict their scope of dating to a miniscule number. Young guys are supposed to date only young girls / women and guys their age are also interested in younger women mostly.

Why not give everyone a freedom to date / marry whoever they want without judging them?

Dear women, who are older than the guys you like, don’t let other people’s opinions shadow your happiness. Remember, age is just a number. One life, live fully, love unabashedly 😉