Month: February 2015

How to melt the cold war?

No, I am not talking about the America Russia Cold War. :p

Though not at that serious level, cold war exists even amongst individuals or groups. (Example Salman Khan & Shahrukh Khan) There is a hostility in the way these individuals interact and behave as strangers with each other though they may or may not have been good friends earlier.

Usually the cause of this cold war is either a fight, a misunderstanding or lack of communication.

cold war

Common enemies of both would enjoy their cold war and even fuel it. But there are two kinds of people who would want this war to end. A. The ones who love to be peacemaker & can’t tolerate anyone not on talking terms. B. A common friend caught in the middle of the cold war who faces the brunt of both sides (remember the famous Ross and Rachel We were on a break war?)

meddle

So how would you go about ending the war?

1. It would not be a good thing to meddle unless atleast one party wants to end the war. You need to speak to them individually. If any one of them shows signs of wanting reconciliation, you can offer to sort the matter out. Speak to both of them regarding the issues they have. Do not defend either of them.

2. You can bring them both to a place which all of you might have frequented earlier. This helps in reviving happy memories and reconciliation becomes easy.

meddle2

3. Communication is the best way to sort out any differences.

4. If you see that outcome of this meeting is positive, you can try further. Bring them together in a personal space like home.

5. If the bitterness aggravates, don’t meddle any further. You can do only so much 🙂

Happy Meddling to you! 😉

happy meddling

 

Of Impressions First and Otherwise..

It was my second proper job & we were into the second week of training. I was having lunch with the other trainees and I said something funny (I do make people laugh occasionally 😉 ) and suddenly one of the co-trainee said my God you are such a sweet and frank person! I can’t believe I thought you are a snob!

I was as surprised as her. I believed I am a very friendly and non snobbish person! How can I even give that impression? But then I realised I am an introvert extrovert person. I am very shy in company of strangers and more I be with them, more I would open up.

Over the years many people have told me this, that they thought me as intimidating and more they knew me, more they were surprised by my friendliness.

First Impressions are not true impressions about me then. And I am sure not about many other people.

I have come across people who have seemed charming and strong and then realised they are just compulsive flirts / weaklings actually. (This is how we overcome crushes 😉 )

So the moral of the story is don’t get blinded by first impression. Know the other person and give them chance for a second and lasting impression 🙂

Coffees And Conversations

Coffee and conversation are the most cliched phrase ever. However cliched they might be though, they are both stimulating agents. A cup of coffee refreshes you and so does a good conversation. Remember when you are low and you just want someone to talk to you? And when that someone does talk, how pepped up you feel?

You can read various articles on the internet which will tell you how to be a good conversationalist. That is not the point of this post 🙂

A good conversation is a subjective term. People have varied interests and same people could have different interests at different times. The  key to having a good conversation is being interested. Interested in the person you are talking to and interest in sharing. A good conversation is always a two way street. It can not be that only one person talks and other listens.

The funny thing about a good conversation is that you don’t necessarily have to be talking all the time. When people get comfortable with each other, the conversation can also be with body language and silence 🙂

It is rightly said a lot can happen over coffee. Only thing needed is your willingness and interest 😉

coffee