One more chance

What is born, dies one day. Be it living beings or relationships.

There are numerous quotes, philosophies and books on the cycle of life and death.

It is said that the most surprising thing about human beings is that they live like they will never die. Human beings also live like their loved ones are not going to die either. In this process, we take everyone for granted. And one day, death calls them, to make them it’s own. And when they leave, we are left wanting. Wanting one more chance.

One more chance to meet them

One more chance to hug them

One more chance to talk to them

One more chance to love them

But there would be no more chances. They have gone. Leaving a huge void in our heart, in our life. Every death brings us a lesson to value the living more but we value it only till the pyre burns (श्मशान वैराग्य we call it). For once, maybe we will learn the lesson better. Don’t wait for death to realise the value of your loved ones.

Top Posts 2016

2016 has been a very disappointing year in many ways. Mostly I feel sad that I haven’t written as much as I should. However, there were certain posts which I liked, compiled here for reference.

Dress to Impress Yourself: A famous blogger / writer wrote about how fat people should not wear leggings, tight dresses, yada yada yada. This post presents a counter view.

The Forbidden Temple: Forcing entry for women in Shani Temple created quite a furore last year.

Goa – Beyond Partying, Boozing and Sea Food: Best part of 2016. A vacation with parents.

Call me Fat, Maybe?: After Vogue did a photo shoot with plus sized models, comments on twitter flew, pathetic to nasty.

Ebooks: The year I discovered the joys of e books! 😀 (Free free free)

Write Away: In May 2016, I ran a contest to encourage writing. Check out posts with the tag Write Away. The best & most liked was: A letter to my not-yet-adopted Baby

Spare Tampons Anyone?: Inspired by yet another debate on twitter 😉

No means No!: Yet another inspired post, this time by a movie.

No means No!

Disclaimer: Contains adult words and situations, which might make you squirm. Read at your own risk.

Going by the title, everyone would know this post is relating to the recently released & much acclaimed movie “Pink” starring Amitabh Bachchan & Tapsee Pannu in the lead characters.

Yes, this post is inspired by the movie. This movie has inspired countless posts only because everyone could relate to the issues depicted in the movie. This shows how rape & molestation are quite rampant in the society.

Last week I was travelling by a local train. The ladies first class compartment was quite full (considering it has only 14 seats, not unusual even on a weekend). I could see several empty seats in the General compartment (yes, general not Gents) On weekdays, on my way to work I have to stand usually for the entire journey. The empty seats were quite tempting & I boarded the General compartment. I usually don’t do this because I am not really comfortable being surrounded by men who keep ogling and leching and trying to get close to you. Anyway, so I got a seat. There was this man seating nearby who was talking loudly on the phone (conversation peppered with expletives) & he also tried to bully a co passenger. I got uncomfortable & stood near the door, meaning to switch back to the ladies compartment at the next station. This man came & stood behind me, so close that I could feel his dick. I moved away instantly & blasted him. He said this is not ladies compartment but gents compartment. I was quite shocked by the inappropriate touching & in other circumstances I would have hit him but that day I just couldn’t. I was also shocked that other men in the compartment kept looking passively.

This was not the first time I have been touched inappropriately & not the first person to be touched inappropriately. The pinching of boobs, spanking ass, dick touching happens regularly to everyone, both men & women. This is one reason I never travel in public buses. The experience leaves such a bad taste in mouth. Who likes to be touched inappropriately without their consent / will? And the worst thing about all of this is we have taken this as a part of life. No one bats an eyelid when they see this happen. Hence, the people who are meant to learn the lesson from the movie or posts like this are never going to learn. However, if even one person changes his / her mindset, it would be a win.

The point of this post is to remind everyone that rape & molestation does not necessarily be in the way it is defined in the dictionary. If you touch someone inappropriately, even if you lech at someone, it amounts to molestation. And no man / woman likes that. It is always a No and No means No!

 

no-means-no

The Forbidden Temple

Shani Shingnapur Temple is a famous temple of Shani Dev in the Shingnapur village in Maharashtra. Since childhood we have heard stories about how the people in the village do not lock their doors and yet there have been no thefts. Shani Dev (The God of Planet Saturn) is a very scary God. If it’s wrath befells you, which is for 7 and a half years, you are in for a really horrible time, they say. They being the astrologers and pundits.

Men worshipping Shani Idol

                 Men worshipping Shani Idol

Recently, this temple has been in news and earning the wrath of human beings, for a change. A group of activists, no doubt politically motivated, want women to have a right to pray in the said temple. As far as I know (based on googled knowledge) women can worship, however from far. They are not allowed to mount the place where the idol is placed nor they can offer oil.

I am sure in general, women are happy doing this. As they are following age old rituals. Like not entering temple during menstruation (Which can start a new topic of why menstruating women are not allowed to Sabrimala temple in Kerala). Anyhow, so back to the Shani temple, women wouldn’t mind not being allowed. But the activists have created a furore. And the people who are counter arguing the need for women to enter the temple are giving some idiotic reasoning in my opinion.

Example:

♂ Why activism only against the bias in temples? Why not mosques? Why not fight against lower fees for women actress. ~ Obviously it’s a politically motivated activism. And only they know why they chose this temple issue over other things (To spite BJP would be a major reason)

When Anna Hazare started activism against corruption, who knew one of their biggest supporter would become an ally of corrupt dynasty driven party? After all having a political agenda can not be only a man’s prerogative, right? 😉

♂ If women are not allowed in the temple, why they should even want to go to that temple? Also, is that the only temple left in India? ~ Well, if we accept that argument, and we apply the logic to every fight that has happened in India or elsewhere, no changes / reforms would ever happen. Would you say, if Gandhi was not allowed in the first class coach, he shouldn’t have travelled first class? The so called lower caste people were not allowed to enter temples. So should have they been content? Girls were not allowed to study. Should have they kept quite?

♂ If you do not agree to rituals of the religion, don’t follow the religion ~ Well, if we can not question the rituals of the religion, the origin of which are unknown, the religion should question if it should even exist.

♂ There must be a scientific reason for women to be forbidden ~ This one takes the cake. Someone said radiations from the stone affect only women and hence they are forbidden. Well, I tried finding the exact reason for the ban but could not find any. And if this is the actual reason, warn women. Let them make an informed decision.

In my opinion, if there is no valid and verified reason, there should not be a ban on a woman who genuinely wants to worship the idol. We are “allowing” women to perform last rites today, which was forbidden earlier, isn’t it? So why can’t we change this as well?

It is 2016 and high time that we use our brains rather than blindly following rituals and the dos and don’ts carried over from the stone age.

Lessons of 2015

No, changing of a year does not mean just a change of date. If you think carefully, every day teaches us something and we change every day. A new lesson learnt, a bad experience avoided, an opportunity grabbed.

My lessons for 2015:

✽ Save Electricity. Save Money.

✽ Don’t waste energy in pointing fingers at others. Rather use that energy to be a better person.

✽ Never ever do what your heart doesn’t agree with.

✽ Stop reacting to everything.

✽ Focus on beautiful things in your life. Forget people who hurt you.

✽ Don’t feed attention beggars.

✽ If you are angry with someone, imagine slapping them non stop cartoon style.

✽ Respect your own worth even if other people don’t.

✽ Never stop believing in your dreams. if you don’t, universe won’t.

Labels

One of my favourite quote is, Your opinion about me, is not a fact about me.

I have been labeled by people according to their convenience, right from childhood. Some things might be true, some a momentary truth but most of them is just a false judgement.

When I was in school, people termed me a Homebody, not mixing with people from the neighbourhood. Truth was I always loved being outdoors. The reason I didn’t mix with neighbours was I never got the right company.

The next label was fat. Wherever I went, I had to bear taunts and remarks of people calling me various names, all synonyms of Fatso. But I was more than just fat. I was emotional, sensitive, ambitious, hardworking, studious, polite, and so much more!

Years passed and I started working. I had to travel in local trains to reach my work place. I used to be harassed a lot because I was overweight. I took half a person’s space more. I never took a seat due to my guilt but even standing was a problem. On some days I couldn’t take the jabs quietly and started hitting back. Verbally as well as physically. I got a new label Quarrelsome.

But this is not who I am. I am a peace loving, confrontation avoiding person. But I also have a severe sense of justice. I can’t stand injustice. And once, when things start getting unbearable, I would definitely give tit for tat. Due to these stray incidents, conveyed in a convenient manner via gossip, makes people think I am a mean or nasty person. This, however, doesn’t matter to me.

My reputation means a lot to me but only in the eyes of people I love and respect. Fortunately, apart from one off cases, they have always stood by me. Not defending me, but at least they believe who I really am. For this I am always thankful.

The moral of the story is:

Dr.Seuss

Being Cougar. Not.

A 42 year old man marries a 32 year old woman. A 34 year old man marries a 23 year old girl. Apart from child-cradle-snatching jokes, nothing happens. This is considered to be very normal after all.

Now consider the reverse – a 40 year old woman marries a 30 year old man. How would you react? I will tell you. They would say she wants to be Madonna. She would be termed as a Cougar & other nasty words.

Why nasty, you ask. Well Madonna dates younger boys for flings not for a healthy relationship. Cougars are supposed to be predators. Do they have similar word for a man? No.

They say women mature early & hence they want to have a relationship with older man. Let’s assume this to be true for a moment. It might be true in general but what about exceptions? Why can’t a guy be more mature than a woman older than him?

I am not buying that argument though. Why anyone wants to be in a relationship with someone is purely based on how someone connects with someone. Maturity / similarities / dissimilarities do not matter. Don’t we see so many apparently mis-matched couples? If society had a way, they would have never paired up.

My neighbour is way shorter than his wife. I have never seen them feeling awkward while walking together on the street. A woman co traveller in a Mumbai local is very fat & tall. Her husband is very thin. My college friend married a guy who drives auto for living. I can go on and on. All these are of course examples of happy marriages.

The best example is of my rakhi brother. My brother is not much educated, was a mere salesman in a shop when he met my sister in law & has a very dark complexion. The woman he fell in love and married to is fair & beautiful, graduate & from a well to do family and hold your breath! 5 years elder to him! I have been witness to their relationship right from the beginning. And know for a fact that they are still very much in love and living a very happy life. It won’t be wrong to say that their story inspires me. They have taught me that when there is true love, nothing else matters and you can fight all the hurdles if you want to be together.

I am not saying that these kind of marriages / relationships would be always successful. But can we guarantee success of all society approved relationships?

Also, when you restrict older women dating younger men, you restrict their scope of dating to a miniscule number. Young guys are supposed to date only young girls / women and guys their age are also interested in younger women mostly.

Why not give everyone a freedom to date / marry whoever they want without judging them?

Dear women, who are older than the guys you like, don’t let other people’s opinions shadow your happiness. Remember, age is just a number. One life, live fully, love unabashedly 😉

 

 

Today & Everyday!

Don’t just live mindlessly. Think. Know and understand the power of thoughts.

Cultivate the habit of reading. Reading opens avenues you never knew existed.

Playing games / sports is a good way to rejuvenate yourself. It helps to keep body & mind fit and also helps retain the child within us.

Laugh with joy. Laugh unabashedly. The sound of laughter is the best music!

Gift yourself some silence everyday. Silence from talks, silence from thoughts. Be one with yourself.

Be aware. Do whatever you do consciously. Be aware of your surroundings. This will make you more understanding & compassionate.

Less animosity, less hatred, more friendship, more love. More peace & happiness for you, and everyone around you.

Learn the joy of giving. Selflessly, without any expectations.

Don’t idle away your time. There is a time for work, there is a time for leisure. Use judiciously.

Pray. Even if you don’t believe in God. Thank the universe. Gratitude makes you more human.

Do this today and everyday!!!

Pink-Rose-for-Cica-crozg

My Top / Favourite Posts

I have been posting my writings on this site since more than two years. I have crossed 200 posts and thought to have a post for some of my best posts (IMO 😉 ) Does it sound like I am giving award to myself? 😛

Here goes the list:

✎ My most beautiful post: Always & Forever

✎ My most popular post: The Guturgoo Game

✎ My most controversial post: Let yourself out of the closet (Chose this only because dad refused to read this :p )

✎ A post which I am most proud of: Virginity an issue over a tissue (Inspite of knowing family & colleagues read my posts, I still posted this)

Category wise favourite posts:

✎ Laddoo’s Corner: This page is dedicated to cheer up everyone going through life’s battles. Every post in this section is close to my heart. But this one is most special. It tells us sometimes all you need is a smile to make everything better. Smile & make this world beautiful!

✎ Thoughts: In 2011 taught me I talk about some lessons I learnt in that year. They are universal lessons & very helpful.

✎ Poems: Apocalypse is a poem I just love & can not believe it was I who wrote it!

✎ Personal: Sharing some personal anecdotes here & I just love this 9 reasons a man will get my attention (also a tribute to certain men in my life) 😉

✎ Fiction: Oh goody!! This is my favourite category & I can’t believe couple of years back I was too scared to write fiction. @islejazz has been instrumental in getting me into this genre. I love most of my stories (don’t roll eyes ok? That’s my forte) but A dish best served cold wins hands down. It was my first attempt in this genre and is the most liked story as well 🙂 Although That Red Lipstick Girl is closest to my heart 😀

✎ Funny: Well, I am sorta kinda funny not Tina Fey or Mark Twain kinda funny but I do try this genre as well 😉 Best amongst the funny post would be  Why Mumbai doesn’t need an awesome winter

✎ Love: I am crazy about love. I am in love with love. I am a hopeless romantic. If I could was written with someone special in mind (Don’t ask me who & why ok?) and hence is the most special post on love for me 😀

✎ Movies: Anyone who knows me knows that I am a huge movie buff (ok mostly Bollywood) and sometimes they inspire me to write what I feel about them (won’t call them a review, just my thoughts) Aiyyaa was one universally hated movie but I enjoyed & loved it thoroughly and someone I admire a lot praised the review. Hence this one is the best choice for me.

✎ Laddoo Cooks: 2014 gave me chance to cook a lot. I thought I will post some simple recipes which don’t take much time but would win more accolades than fancy ones. *hides face & hopes to die* coz haven’t posted more than two 🙁 Anyhoo, try How to cook Rabdi & win hearts of everyone. Easy to make. Have gulab jamuns / jalebis as accompaniments 😀

✎ Travel: I love travelling and visit new places. Though mostly I don’t get opportunities or be simply lazy hence I don’t travel much. This New Girl in the Old city is a very special post because this was first time I was exploring a city on my own. Bangaloreans have shown lots of love to this one 😉

Hope you all read them and enjoy as I do. You can also tell me how did you like them or not like them 😀

Happy Reading!!

 

 

Be the change. Feel the change.

Since childhood, we are hearing this statement, “Change is the only constant”

Everything in life keeps on changing the moment we are born. One minute we are being fed and clothed by someone else, we are free to potty wherever and whenever we like and then one fine day, we have to dress ourselves, eat with our own hands and later, cook for ourselves.

As we start becoming aware of our surroundings, we also sense the need to change everything. Right from the time of getting up from bed or not, to how the food should be cooked to how the government should function.

We participate in debate and elocution competitions to voice our opinion. We write blogs. We tweet and outrage about how things should or shouldn’t be.

Essentially, we expect someone else to do the dirty work. But is that the right way to change things?

Rights and duties are the two different sides of a coin. While everyone wants the rights, the duties are being flee-ed away from. Like we flee from the Swine Flu virus! Charity begins at home, therefore, applies here more than anywhere else. It is easy to expect other people to change but it takes lots of courage to change yourself. Ask yourself what can you change? How can you improve your surroundings? What thing you can commit to? And remember change need not be a major one. It can be as small as you want it to be. Don’t litter, Stop spitting in public, Do not give or receive bribes, support education of an orphan, do not waste resources, specially public resources.

Be an inspiration to others and see the world changing! Be the Change to Feel the Change!!!

 

Happy Women’s Day!

Come March and you know woman’s day is around the corner. You are bombarded with special deals for women, discounts, events and what not!

sale

This way of celebrating is nothing but reiterating the cliche that women are born to shop! This is SO NOT the way! It limits the day to be a symbolic gesture & doesn’t emphasis the actual reason it is celebrated.

The Women’s Day started being celebrated to create more awareness about the issues women faced in the early 20th century. Read more here: Why celebrate Women’s Day!

The issues faced by today’s women are not much different than what women faced couple of centuries back. It is important to not let this day be just about gifts and pampering. Let this day be about making ourselves aware of what we are and what we are capable of. Let men take a moment to appreciate the sweetness in their lives brought by women. Let men understand that it is love and respect we seek and not trinkets and flowers. Let men know that women are human beings too and have every right to all the freedom men enjoy! (Yes, including paying bills without men feeling emasculated)

Be happy that you are born a woman! Be happy about the quirks God gifted you with! Treat all women as your sisters and friends and not indulge in petty power plays!

Wish all women out there a very Happy Women’s Day!!!

hwd

 

Of Impressions First and Otherwise..

It was my second proper job & we were into the second week of training. I was having lunch with the other trainees and I said something funny (I do make people laugh occasionally 😉 ) and suddenly one of the co-trainee said my God you are such a sweet and frank person! I can’t believe I thought you are a snob!

I was as surprised as her. I believed I am a very friendly and non snobbish person! How can I even give that impression? But then I realised I am an introvert extrovert person. I am very shy in company of strangers and more I be with them, more I would open up.

Over the years many people have told me this, that they thought me as intimidating and more they knew me, more they were surprised by my friendliness.

First Impressions are not true impressions about me then. And I am sure not about many other people.

I have come across people who have seemed charming and strong and then realised they are just compulsive flirts / weaklings actually. (This is how we overcome crushes 😉 )

So the moral of the story is don’t get blinded by first impression. Know the other person and give them chance for a second and lasting impression 🙂

Coffees And Conversations

Coffee and conversation are the most cliched phrase ever. However cliched they might be though, they are both stimulating agents. A cup of coffee refreshes you and so does a good conversation. Remember when you are low and you just want someone to talk to you? And when that someone does talk, how pepped up you feel?

You can read various articles on the internet which will tell you how to be a good conversationalist. That is not the point of this post 🙂

A good conversation is a subjective term. People have varied interests and same people could have different interests at different times. The  key to having a good conversation is being interested. Interested in the person you are talking to and interest in sharing. A good conversation is always a two way street. It can not be that only one person talks and other listens.

The funny thing about a good conversation is that you don’t necessarily have to be talking all the time. When people get comfortable with each other, the conversation can also be with body language and silence 🙂

It is rightly said a lot can happen over coffee. Only thing needed is your willingness and interest 😉

coffee

Words..

Where do the words go when we have said them?” — Margaret Atwood

We speak so much during the day! Lots of words leave our mouth and get spread in several directions.

Where exactly they go?

Some words are so fickle, the fall on the ground and mingle with the dust. Some words are so light, they dissolve in the air.

But some words are listened carefully to. They get mingled with the heart beats and in the veins where blood flows. These words become a part of someone else’s existence!

Did your words become part of someone’s existence today? 🙂

Friend-zoned

You must have heard / read / talked about this term lots of time. Friend-zoned. Friend zoning is nothing but putting an invisible line between you and the person who wants to be more than friends with you and you don’t.

It is heartbreaking of course. Suppose you fall in love with someone and that person hasn’t. They are happy with the status quo and don’t want anything more from the relationship. It is tough to see them and to control your feelings. You are angry too as they are not responding to your feelings. You might then stop interacting with them and move away.

But remember you are not the only victim here. The other person is losing a good friend. Its equally heartbreaking for them if you vanish from their life.

No one is at fault here. Yet both of them suffer. Sigh.

PS: No, there is no point of this post.

20 Facts About Me!

Reading & being tagged on 20 Facts about yourself since morning, made me curious about what kind of facts I would share about me. I don’t think Instagram is a place to share these kind of posts hence sharing it here:

✸ I am a very shy person

✸ I never run out of topic for conversations if the company is right

✸ I have trouble saying no to people I love

✸ I love meeting new people & making friends

✸ I love being centre of attention

✸ I use Google a lot! I love Google *_*

✸ If I am angry I tend to hurt myself. This has reduced a lot but this scares me sometimes

✸ Even though I am very expressive, I can hide my feelings very well if need arises

✸ I am a secret keeper. People sense that probably & entrust me with lot of their secrets

✸ I love the sea. It calms me a lot. 

✸ I am NOT a morning person

✸ I hate being touched by strangers

✸ I am very accident prone

✸ I tried to commit suicide several times

✸ Earrings are my favourite accessories

✸ I don’t like to wear necklaces / closed shoes

✸ I am very possessive about the people I love

✸ I am not the one who will keep movie tickets, etc as a souvenir 

✸ I love being in a book store 

✸ I am very lazy

There you go. Would you share yours? 🙂

 

Freedom!!!

Recently India celebrated it’s 68th Independence Day. A long tedious struggle resulted in the British leaving India for good. After 68 years, and several generations later, it is not possible to imagine how much that freedom meant to us. We don’t appreciate fully that we are not enslaved to any country. We can’t imagine how much our forefathers & mothers were tortured for the desire to breathe in free air.

Maybe we would realise that when we are free from our own demons. Maybe one day we will breathe in fresh air, our desires un-caged. But this freedom is not going to come on it’s own. The journey is full of struggles, which at some point will make you want to kill yourself. Sometimes you might want to succumb. These are the moments when you need to remember what you are fighting for.

These are some of the things I need freedom from:

❋ The cliched thinking of society. I want to live in a free minded society where there are no traditional norms to be followed. It is all right for a boy to play with dolls, it is all right for a girl to play with cars.

❋ Fairy Tales of Princess & Prince Charming. Fairy Tales of Ogres & Princess turned into Ogres. There should also be a fairy tale for an Ogress & Prince Charming! 

❋ Uneducated Literate people. Let the schools teach valuable lessons to be imbibed. Let schools teach us how to be civil. Let schools teach us to be liberal & modern in true sense & not just be a road to earn our livelihood!

❋ Monsters! Monsters who are in every corner. Monsters who hurt innocent people. Let there be more angels than monsters in the world!

I am doing my bit. Will you help me? Will you be part of this revolution?

Alimony – How justified?

A famous actor’s wife seeks an outrageous amount from the actor in alimony. The world is shocked though prompt in making jokes. Of course most of these jokes are not in a very good taste.

A marriage is a sacred ritual which binds two human beings. It is saddening when the bond breaks for whatsoever reason. Especially when there are kids involved. In this case, you are breaking up an entire family. This is going to scar the adults & kids for life. No amount of money is going to heal the scars.

Alimony is an allowance paid to a divorced / separated spouse by the chief provider, usually men, on order of the court. The tradition of alimony seems quite old as per Wikipedia. I am pondering over the need for the same.

Traditionally, women are dependent on parents before marriage & on husband after marriage for their financial needs. Post divorce there must have been a tussle between parents & husband as to who will provide for her. And ultimately by a consensus it would have been decided that the husband should. I for one never understood this. If there are children, father is bound to provide for their support. But why support to wife & why she should take support of husband?

Any self respecting woman would try to be financially independent & not take a dime from her ex husband for her needs. I wouldn’t for sure. Specially when I am already earning enough for myself.

This is what feminism is needed for. Protect your individuality & independence. Say no to being dependent on a man or anyone. Say no to being provided for.

 

Rape is not a joke

One guy was facing flak for posting this quoted joke on social networking site, “If sex without wife’s consent is rape, then by this logic, isn’t spending husband’s money by the wife without his consent Robbery???”

On the face of it, nothing wrong with this statement. Obviously if a woman is spending husband’s money without his consent, it would amount to stealing (assuming the wife has taken money out of his wallet / taken money given for other purposes spent on own). FYI, neither of the crimes are reported unless there is a separation / divorce involved.

However, mine & other women’s, who couldn’t gulp down this as a joke (yeah poor sense of humour & blah blah blah), concern was are men thinking sex without wife’s consent is not rape?  Both are crimes of different degrees. How do you even compare raping a woman with self indulgent wife? Why do men have to be so defensive of rape to resort to such cheap humour?

Physical Intimacy is a necessary ingredient of a happy married life and differences regarding those should be sorted out through communication and not violence. Would men laugh this off as a joke, if it was told by their fathers in context of their mothers?

From the interactions on the joke, one thing I observed was, since women are crying hoarse for attention to rapes, men feel crimes against them are going unnoticed. We get your point. But is this the way to gather attention? Instead of branding women fighting for their rights as feminist bitches, why don’t men utilise their energy to do something against crime against men?

It is not women’s fault if they are doing something about their plight & you are not getting your share of attention. Everyone is fighting their own battles. You need not demean others to glorify yours.

Rape is a serious issue. It is faced by men, women & children equally, globally. Do not let anyone think raping is ok by indulging in such humour, specially if you are an influential person. That’s what all we women ask. Not for women’s sake. But for the sake of humanity.

Notes to Self!

Life is a teacher. Everyday it teaches us a new lesson. Some we retain & most we forget. Next time when a similar situation occurs, we have forgotten to apply our learning. Compiling some of the lessons here. Will come back time to time to know what I need to remember.

✎ Darr ke aage jeet hai (No pain no gain)

✎ If you think you have done the right thing, don’t let anyone make you feel guilty

✎ Live life to the fullest!

✎ Never be trapped in other people’s opinion of you. Even if it is a good opinion.

✎ Never wear heels while shopping!

✎ Take your bucket list as seriously as your To Do List at work!

✎ It is better to do the work yourself than relying on others

✎ No Twitter at work

I might have written countless notes to self. Sadly I remember only these many. Hence last but not the least!

✎ Jot down your notes on a more safer place (*rolls eyes at self*)

Virginity – An Issue over a tissue?

 

Dictionary defines Virginity as, “state of a person who has never engaged in sexual intercourse”

A man’s virginity is of no importance. However, a woman’s virginity is supposed to be her prized possession.

Virginity of a woman is a necessity for her marriage. A guy does not need to know if a woman would be compatible life partner or not. All he needs to know is if the woman can cook & if she is “pure”

And when girls are auctioned like cattles, virgin girls get the highest bids.

This is the reason hymenoplasty is a rage in some part of the world.

A woman who has lost her virginity before marriage is deemed to be of a loose character. A person who has no morals & would be unfaithful to her partner.

People behave as if women are not supposed to have sexual desires. It is all right for men to have sex before marriage or countless partners but God forbid if women do the same.

A broken tissue, which can very well be due to various non sex related factors, creates an issue which forces women to feel guilty, humiliated & even shunned from society.

One question for men here, you want virgin wives for yourself. And you have sex before marriage, probably with unmarried girls. Don’t you want those girls to get married?

It is high time we stop making an issue out of a tissue. Stop judging a person’s sex life. Stop labeling women as sluts just because they gave in to their desires.

And women, it is high time you stopped being guilty just because you actually enjoyed something. It’s your life & you have every right to enjoy life’s pleasures 🙂

happy woman

The Red Devil – More than Mood Swings

Whenever internet / any site is down, how many times have you heard, why is XYZ PMSing? They are obviously referring to the mood swings which accompany the start of periods.

But do the jokers know PMS is more than mood swings?

Menstruation also known as periods or chums or red devils is the monthly discharge of blood from the vagina for three to six days. It starts when a girl hits puberty & it continues till almost 3 decades of her life.

The Menstrual Cycle is not only about the blood discharge. It brings along various physical & mental changes due to fluctuations in hormone levels. Three days before the start of periods, the face & stomach bloat, breasts feel tender & painful, legs ache a lot. The symptoms differ from woman to woman. During periods, you get cramps in your stomach & back & fatigue & various other physical discomforts. Apart from these women also have to deal with the stress of staining clothes & some women have to deal with religious rubbish associated with the periods.

Even without the hormone fluctuation, can you imagine how irritating all these symptoms are? How cranky it would make you if you have to face this? Add the hormone fluctuation & the irritation goes up 10 times. And this is the time we need lots of rest & lots of TLC. But do we ever give women what they want? We only know how to joke about their pain, don’t we?

Girls & Women juggle studies, work, home efficiently even in those days & still you expect them to be all cheerful? Have you ever seen your mom not putting a hot meal in front of you just because she is on her periods? Have you seen a woman colleague take leave every month for 3 days?

This is her power. This is her strength. To endure all difficulties in life & still go on with her duties & responsibilities.

This Women’s day, if you really care about women, take a pledge to respect her periods. Take a pledge not to joke about it in a lame way. If you can do more, give her lots of rest & love & care & support. She will feel better, be less irritable & you will be spared of her wrath too. WIN-WIN 😀

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Let yourself out of the closet…

 

Coming out of the closet. We think this implies only to someone’s sexuality, isn’t it? A heterosexual need not say anything but a homosexual has to state that he is interested only in same sex person. Once he accepts publicly, we applaud him for “Coming out of the CLOSET”

But being in the closet is not only about sexuality. Have you wondered how many secrets about yourself you have to hide for the fear of parents & society in general?

If you don’t know how to cook, what will your in laws say?

Why are you crying like a woman? Be a man!

If you can’t stand up for someone, wear bangles & sit at home.

You are not a man to wear trousers. Wear salwar suit like a good Indian girl.

You like to get manicures? how gay!

Do all these statements ring a bell? This is just a drop in the ocean.

Society has made different boxes for man & women & set a specific rules on how each should behave. And if one shows even glimpse of what is supposed to be the character of opposite sex, he / she will be called names, would be lectured & in some cases out casted or even murdered. Sounds extreme but is 100% truth.

And then there are reverse kind of society. The Rebel society. They will oppose anyone who fits into the rules of society (through personal choice only)

To girls they will say: Oh how girly that you carry purses, wear make up, like shopping, etc..

To guys they will say: Stop being a MCP & let girls pay for their share, don’t be chivalrous, etc..

Why? Who made these rules? Why we need to adhere to them?

Let me be. Let me live my life as I want to. Don’t try to mould me in your box. I am not blue, I am not pink. Let me be whatever colour I want. White, Black, Grey, Purple, a mix of Blue & Pink, or just Pink even.

Only then we will have an equal society. A society where people do not hide their personality in their closets.

 

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I am One!

cupcake-with-candle

 

Happy Birthday to you Happy Birthday to you Happy Birthday Mirchi Laddoo! Happy Birthday to you!

I am now One! Yes that many 🙂

It’s time to celebrate! Celebrate the regularity of my writings.. celebrate the appreciation & love people have showered on me..celebrate the connections with people..celebrate the journey which has surpassed my expectations

It’s also time to say thank you! Thank you for reading my posts! Thank you for encouraging me to continue writing & thank you for all the guidance & support!

It’s also time to hope! Hope to improve my writings, hope to connect more with y’all & hope to celebrate many more birthdays 🙂 🙂 🙂

 

Special Dates!

 

365 days in a year & 365 dates. Some are ordinary & some special. In the era of Social Media, these dates have garnered more interest & popularity.

In 2011 it was 09/10/11 then 11/11/11 and 20/11/2011, In 2012 10/11/12 & 20/12/2012 & In 2013 it will be 11/12/13

Some people wished to do something special on these days.

Some managed to make it special either co-incidentally or through extra efforts..

However, some remained cynical & tried to shrug off the special dates as “so what???”

For any special days, there always have been such cynics around.

I sometimes feel they are poor souls who have nothing to celebrate in their life or just want to turn up their noses against whatever is popular.

These cynics say why celebrate valentine’s day, mother’s day, etc., when you can make it special everyday.

I say, I agree we can make everyday special but do we strive to make any day as special?

Sometimes a person gets to feel special only because there is a pressure to make such days special else even that day would be taken as granted.

And as far as commercialism goes, you need not spend thousands of bucks to make any day special.

Make efforts in thinking of plans which don’t cost money. You might be surprised how happy that person can be with your small gestures rather than expensive gifts.

Remember the Best Gifts in life are free.

Go celebrate that special day with your special someone! <3

Theek Hai!!

 

During our independence struggle, our leaders gave some memorable quotes.. Quotes which gives us goosebumps even after 6 decades of getting independence..

Lokmanya Tilak: “Swaraj is my birthright & I shall have it”

Netaji Subhash Chandra Bose: “Tum mujhe khoon do main tumhe azaadi doonga”

Mahatma Gandhi: Angrezo Bharat Chhodo”

So on & so forth..

It is a pity that today’s leader is going to be remembered for “Theek Hai”

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Why do men love gold diggers?

 

Being on twitter for more than a year, has opened my eyes. I get to learn so many new things everyday.

One thing I learnt is women only love money.. cash, jewelry, diamonds.. you name it she craves it..

While choosing a life partner money is the only thing on her mind & she marries the one who has the most moolah..

One thing however confused me.. It is true that a woman marries a man for money but why would a man want to marry such women? After all, Men being the paragons of virtue, would only fall for inner beauty & obviously gold diggers don’t have inner beauty..

Can anyone solve my confusion please?

Happy World!!!

You say there is only one world but then you are someone who is brave & strong who doesn’t need to create a world within your world.

In the real world I am a mockery. I am not good looking, nor smart nor have any other talent. The only thing I have is lot of love & care for others. I don’t mind being that person but the real world does. They don’t want to be with anyone weak. They push me away. And I am left alone standing on the shores of life.

But do I let these people’s behaviour make me unhappy? No! I don’t want to be sad to be crying to be unhappy. There is enough gloom in the world already.

Hence I retreat in the world I have created for myself. Here there are only happy thoughts. I am alone but not lonely. My love for everything is my cocoon. Surrounded by love & happiness & not a single thought about anything painful. If you sit silently, you might hear the silent hush of the waves. The gentle breeze will caress you & heal you.

Just spending some time here will replenish me & make me ready once again to face the hardships of the world.

This is my sweet humble and a very happy world!

I Wish…

This is one of my favourite stories, “Dinner was being served on one of the most luxurious cruise liner in the world. Everyone was enjoying the delicacies. For dessert, there was a scrumptious chocolate pastry. A lady travelling on the liner was on diet & didn’t have dessert. Later in the night, the weather changed suddenly & there was a heavy storm at sea. Waves attacked the ship from all sides & created havoc. The ship couldn’t survive the storm & went down under. All the passengers in the ship drowned along with the ship. Some one had their loved ones on their mind, some were seen praying. The lady, who refused dessert, was thinking, “If I knew that was the last meal I was having, I would have never said no to that chocolate pastry”

Watching what we eat is a big part of losing weight, but in that process if you sacrifice what you love to eat, you will never enjoy your diet. This applies to almost all things in life. For achieving something, we sacrifice something else. Make sure you are not sacrificing something which you will regret later in your life.

 

How to Kill Time!

 

For the Working people, Television has become a major source of entertainment.

But what happens when one day when your TV breaks down & you can’t get it fixed?

Let us see some creative ideas how to kill time & emerge winner!!!

1. Cleaning: Pick up one area in your home. Your wardrobe, book shelf, bedroom, kitchen shelf. Clean thoroughly & rearrange. It’s the best productive way to utilise your time.

2. Reading: People who are fond of reading, collect many books during the course of year but the books collect dust waiting to be read. Brush off the dust on the books & pick one to read.

If you have an internet connection & laptop, you can also indulge your time reading books online, including comic books or even blogs. You can even try your hand in writing a blog, if you are not writing already!

3. Games: Lots of games to be played online from Solitaire, Chess, Farmville & what not. Always keep a pack of cards at home. You can always play Solitaire, if electricity or computer is not available 😉

4. Movies / Sitcoms: Just like books, people also download movies / sitcoms & collect it to watch on a rainy day. What better time than now to watch them?

5. Talk: Call up people whom you have not spoken to in ages. If you are staying away from family, call your family members. It would be a happy surprise for them as well.

6. Walk: Go out of your house. Explore your neighbourhood. Enjoy some fresh air.

7. Music: If you don’t feel like doing anything from the above, there is always Music. Switch off your lights & switch on your favourite music. Enjoy Solitude.

All the above ideas are not exhaustive. When TV is switched off, it is time to switch on your imagination & think of the best possible way to utilise your time.

Enjoy!!!

 

Happy Teacher’s Day!!!

 

5th September always brings sweet memories of school days. On this day, 9th & 10th standard students used to be teachers to other students & teachers’ used to get a chance to relax & enjoy the festivities. It was so much fun being taught by the senior students & we could not await the day to be Teachers ourselves!

For those who came in late, 5th September is celebrated as Teacher’s Day in India, birthday of Dr. Sarvepalli Radhakrishnan, who was a renowned scholar & teacher. He went on to become Vice President of India.

Once I read a column on Teacher’s day. The columnist was of the view that, since teachers are not of the same quality as they were at the time of Mr. S. Radhakrishnan, we should stop celebrating Teacher’s Day. I was taken aback by the cynical view point of the author.

Indians have always respected & idolised their teachers. The teachers are not just paid employees in the eyes of the students. They are the gardeners who groom the students. They are our guiding light, who contribute to our overall development & not stick to textbook schooling.

Who can forget the teacher who paid attention to a student who was weak in maths & gave special tuition with no extra cost? Or the teacher who identified our talent for debate / drama & encouraged us to take part in extracurricular activities? Or a teacher who inspired us to take on reading & opened a whole new world to us?

Of course not all teachers fall in this category. But do we stop honouring our teachers only because some teachers are rotten apples?

If such is the case, then we need not respect anyone in this world. Not our so called leaders, doctors or even our parents!

What is required is restore the faith of all in the teaching community. Respect them. Give them better pays & better facilities. Remove the Rotten Apples from the basket but also honour the Good Ones!!!

Happy Teacher’s Day!!!

Fake or Real???

 

Red is the colour of love. It radiates warmth and a strong sense of vitality. And red is also the colour of the ruby, the king of the gemstones. In the fascinating world of gemstones, the ruby is the undisputed ruler.

For thousands of years, the ruby has been considered one of the most valuable gemstones on Earth. It has everything a precious stone should have: magnificent colour, excellent hardness and outstanding brilliance. In addition to that, it is an extremely rare gemstone, especially in its finer qualities.

It is very difficult for a common man to tell the difference between a real & a fake Ruby.

 

 

If you see the above pictures, one is a fake ruby & one is a real one..The colour & shine are almost same.

Of course an expert in gems would definitely make out which one is real in a second.

Most people will never know the difference between Red Glass & Ruby & wouldn’t matter to them what is it that they own…

Some people would know the difference & wish for the Ruby but get stuck with the Glass either because they can not afford the price of Ruby or they don’t deserve the Ruby..Their destiny is to be with the Glass..

There would be only rare few who would know the real Ruby, understand & appreciate its value & provide a perfet setting of Gold / Platinum for the Ruby..to own it & cherish it!!!

 

So what would you own? Fake? or Real?

🙂 🙂 🙂

 

Dad, Father, Papa, Daddy!

 

Come Mother’s Day & everyone goes mushy as to how much they love their mothers. The profile pictures on the Social Networking Sites are changed to suit the occasion, status updated, feelings tweeted. You get the picture, right?

But on Father’s Day there has been no furore! I can understand guys not too excited ‘coz they always share a awkward relationships with their dads (except the exceptions) but what about girls? As far as I know all girls are little princesses of their dads & dads are their heroes, ain’t it?

If we are cheering for our moms, let’s not forget to cheer for our dads too!

This post is a tribute to all the wonderful dads in the world. As rightly said by someone, First Hero of a son & First Love of a daughter!!!

Dad – A puzzled man who doesn’t know how to react when he knows he’s going to be a father.

Dad – Scared to hold you ‘coz he is worried he will hurt you.

Dad – Goes to work to provide for family & misses all the cherishable moments.

Dad – Stays up all night when you are not well.

Dad – Takes up role of mom when she is not around.

Dad – Narrates bed time stories to you.

Dad – Protects you from scary monsters.

Dad – Cooks yummy food for you.

Dad – Holds your hand when you cross the road.

Dad – Becomes your horse.

Dad – Is your friend, mentor & guide.

Dad – Makes your wishes come true.

Dad – First coach of any sport.

Dad – Cheats so you can win.

Dad – Cries with you during a mushy movie.

Dad – Cries the hardest when you get married & go away.

Dad – Is proudest of your achievement.

Dad – Visits your website daily.

Dad – Comforts when you are sad.

Dad – Gives bear hugs!

Dad – I Love You <3 

 

My Own Top Ten Twitter Celeb List!

Much furore was raised on Twitter when Oulook magazine released its version of Twitter Gods.

As my Twitter God says, why make an issue, just look it as the list of Outlook’s favourite Tweeples!

And that made me thinking of my favourite Tweeples, Celebs in their own right!

They are witty, smart, intelligent, humorous & make my Twitter World perfect! A Follow back from them gave me a mini heart attack 🙂

Wanna Meet them??

1. @bizzarebhide: He – My Twitter God. Me – His Stalker 😉 A comment on my freshly created handle, “A Culinary Innovative Delight” made me check out his tweets. I was amazed at his witty tweets & sense of humour. He was the first person I followed on Twitter. His tweets & blogs have made me his fan. 🙂

2. @SirExtraCheese: The first thing I loved about this handle was the word Extra Cheese. I always love extra cheese with my pizza :-). But what I loved most was when I had asked something about baked lays & he replied, “Lets say hi first”. His tweets are nice, sweet, crazy & always make me smile. He writes lovely poems & is a mindblowing photographer. Multi Talented yet so Down to Earth!

3. @mochaccino: She is my dear dear mo & I am her chilly balls 😉 Not just another coffee handle – She is the cutest person I have EVER met. You will surely fall in love with her tweets & get addicted to just like caffeine. My timeline is very boring without her!

4. @HandleNotFound: I met her as @iWritingGirl. Her writing is just WOW! Not many girls/women have guts to write on supposedly “bold” topics. But she does & with such aplomb! She makes my Timeline HAWT!!!

5. @Hitlerbai: She is one bold chick. And funny And cute. I just love her replies to Paulo Coelho’s spanish tweets & also her after sleep plans. I literally roll on floor with laughter!

6. @teraKaminaDost: Though the handle says Kamina, there is nothing kamina about this guy. Share a common grievance of not getting auto in the morning 😉 Roz raat barah baje Santa Banta inhein milne aate hain!

7. @Mindd_it: Our own Rajnikant of Twitter – Mind it! His most famous tweet: “O meri aan, o meri uun” is like a lullaby 😉

8. @pal36: Adi Guru of Twitter. Lord Dattatreya had 24 gurus, he probably has 240+ who tell him what they learnt 😉 His daily question, What Did You Learn Today (#WDYLT) has made me more aware of my learnings of the day & I quite look forward to share it with him 🙂

9. @14_yr_Old_Etard: Followed & Unfollowed him quite a few times due to some of his outrageous views but decided that the outrageous tweets are a tiny fraction as compared to the wisdom he doles out. His blogs are interesting as well. Not 14 year old. Not a retard definitely.

10. @SimpooSir: One handle on which I agree with Outlook completely. His innocent zokes & peezays will definitely make you smile if not laugh. He has answers to all questions including where do you find a soulmate – Mochi ke paas bhai!

Happy Following 🙂

 

Mirchi Laddoo – Yummylicious!!!

Yo Chilli Balls! A day never passes when I am not looking for this phrase on my time line…

Yes, thats what I prefer to be called nowadays..or Mirchi Laddoo or Laddoo or Mirchi 😉

I dont even remember / want to remember my real name ..This is my real world now. Far from the familial/community/colleagues presence..

There was a time when I was too addicted to facebook. Updating lotsa posts & poems when I was in love & after the heart break earned me the nickname of Mirchi..but someone opposed, said I was too sweet to be called Mirchi..so got another nickname of Laddoo..Of course, it matched my shape as well 😉

So was I to be Mirchi or Laddoo??? Reminded me of my old tagline on my Yahoo ID “Sugar is Sweet but Spice is nice”

Mirchi, provides the necessary spice in life. Mirchi is tasty,Mirchi is fun, hell, Mirchi is Sexy!!!

And Laddoo? Laddoo is sweet..Laddoo comes to rescue when you have too much of the Mirchi..Laddoo is Love!!!

Thats what I am – Sweet like a Laddoo & Spiciy like a Mirchi 😉

Welcome to the world of Mirchi Laddoo 🙂

Ties that bind us…

 

We had learnt in school “Man is a social animal”. At that point of time we did not give so much importance to the deeper meaning of the sentence.

But the more we grow, we realize how true the statement is..

This also is one of the reasons of the popularity of the “Social” Networking Sites :-) :-) :-)

A man is not satisfied with merely fulfilling his basic necessities..He needs something more than Food, Water & Shelter..He needs love, appreciation & validation. He also needs company..The company could be of family, friends, lover, children or even pets or books or any other hobbies..

A man needs a connection with someone..a relationship with an individual or a group to share their thoughts & feelings, to engage in activities together, to have fun together & ultimately to live their life together..

A man’s relationship starts when he is in the womb..that is his first relationship..with his mother..

As he opens his eyes in the real world, he gets some more relations..father, grandparents, brothers, sisters, & a whole bunch of extended family..

As he grows up, goes to school / college, he makes new relations..they are called friends..The ties with friends are much stronger because we choose whom we want to have a connection with.

And then one day he meets someone special..Someone who is made especially for him..This is the relationship he craves for..

Sometimes this relationship ends in marriage & begins with having kids..Life becomes a full circle for him then!

Buiilding a relationship is not an easy task though..There are various stages of a relationship..

  1. Acquaintance: Here, you come to know a person. If both of you like each other only then a relationship will proceed to next level.
  2. Buildup: You both already like each other. Now is the time to build care & trust for each other. Some common background & interests are required to sustain this stage.
  3. Continuation: Here a long term commitment is made be it for friendship, romantic relationship or marriage.
  4. Deterioration: Sometimes a relationship is not able to sustain..it starts deteriorating..you lose interest in the other person or vice-versa, or there is some distrust, fights, dis-harmony, etc. Whatever the reason..but from here the relationship can go to two stages..through resolving problems & issues back to stage 3 or else to stage 5
  5. Termination: The final stage marks the end of the relationship either by death or separation..

It is beautiful to have so many relationships around us. They make the journey of life much more beautiful..

A caring mom, a protective dad, a loving sister, a pampering brother, a friend who is all of these & more, a lover, husband, kids…also nosy neighbours (love to share a cup of sugar with some hot gossip) ;-)

Some relationships are beyond labels though..They are the best ones :-)

Blood Relations, Soul Relations, Need Relations, whatever the type maybe but Har ek relation Zaroori Hota hai!!!

Relationships are very special..

When they are new they are exciting..

When they are old they are comforting..

And when they are dead, they become Cherished Memories…

 

Suicide – Cowardice or Bravery???

Newspapers are filled with suicide stories..on a daily basis so many people commit suicide for varied reasons..failure in love, financial trouble, incurable diseases, chronic depression, etc..

Death is an inevitable part of life..what lives has to die and every life comes with an expiry date..

Suicide is a way of shouting I quit! I quit this miserable life where there is no hope for me..things are only going to worsen from here..

People say that only cowards commit suicide..but is it really so? Why are we so prompt to judge someone when we don’t know how their journey has been?

These people have reached a dead end..their minds & hearts are blank..they don’t know where to go from here..turning back is not an option..they can think of only one thing then..to end it all..no more misery, no more despair, no mure hurt, no more heart wrenching pain, no helplessness..

I feel we and society as a whole behave cowardly towards such people..

They are one of us..someone from our family, a friend or a neighbour..

We know what they are going through but what do we do for them?

Sometimes even a kind touch makes a person think life is not that bad at all..

Are we brave enough to be kind to such people? Do we extend our love, our support, our compassion to them? If not then we have no right to call them names.

Do not cry after the person is no more..laugh with them when they are alive..that would be a much better tribute!

 

Fuelling My Passion!

Writing is socially acceptable form of being naked in public – Paulo Coelho
When I read this quote, I was dumbfounded! I always shied away from sharing my writings as I was not comfortable baring my thoughts or feelings..I used to think if someone reads this, what would they think? If I write something about love / pain would they think I have experienced it myself? I was not ready to answer anyone’s questions if they did! I wrote still but not about anything personal. I wrote for my office mags / on Facebook / blogs. But everything was about non-personal stuff most of the time. If I posted anything that would look personal, my inbox would be flooded with oh, what happened, etc.

After I read this quote, I was like if such a great author can feel this way, it was ok for me to feel the same!

It is time now to write about what I really want to write without having any inhibitions..It may not be liked by all…but I would love the freedom of having all the thoughts outside my mind onto my blogs / books / whatever medium.

‘Coz I have also learnt that when you put out all your thoughts on paper it reduces the intensity of your feelings..you become more calm & are at peace with yourself.

I would be very happy to unleash my love / passion for writing & also sharing it with few people who are interested in my work.

So how did it all began?

It all started with my another passion, Reading! Ya right, If I do anything, it has to be passionately! I don’t know any other way to do it 🙂

Reading has always been like a passion for me since childhood. I have always been a voracious reader. It may be newspapers, comics, short stories, novellas or full fledge novels. I forget myself when i am reading.. I become one with the characters & feel their emotions empathetically. It takes me to places where I can not physically go..transporting me to a world of imagination. Reading has also fuelled my already active imagination! The next logical step for me was to then pour out all the imagination in the form of writing..

I used to write poetries, short essays & stories..but I immediately tore them up after writing..Apart from the reason above, I was also not sure whether I was a good writer or not..

Getting appreciated for whatever I have written till now has made me more comfortable with sharing my writings with public..

To cut a long story short, it is time to fuel my passion & drive it on the highway of imagination..If I get some friends along with me, cool!! If not, then Ekla Chalo Re!!!